Sunday, July 17, 2011

Just a Saturday at Walmart

How sad is my life?  I was at Walmart on a Saturday night!!  Well at least it was a little bit entertaining.  We stopped to "just get dog food".  No one EVER walks into a store and just gets what they said they were.  And if you do, there's something wrong with you. :)

So Boogie and Sofia went to get the dog food and I went to the toy section to find some flash cards for Sofia.  I want her to be smarter than the rest of the kids. Duh.   So as I am looking and actually reading each box, I hear this annoying ass HONK sound.  You could tell it was one of those bike horns....loud and obnoxious.  But horns are supposed to use to alert people of your presence right? Well this idiot was making the sound every 30 seconds to a minute. I really did say out loud "omg are serious right now?"  So as I was trying to assure that my daughter is a prodigy in school and reading the back of all these damn boxes of flash cards, this idiot was annoying the hell out of me.  I really did want them to pass by so I could say something or at least roll my eyes at them OR throw a box of flash cards at them.  Well the culprit passed by alright...with my daughter in tow.  IT WAS BOOGIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I wanted to pass out and run away all at the same time.  Who does that?????  I know that we are in Walmart and it's probably the only place on earth where it's NOT weird, but STILL!!  We walk to the front to pay and he's constantly honking that damn horn.  People are staring.  Like we belong on that website http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/!! I was so annoyed that I left him and Sofia in that line and waited at the entrance.  Well that was the best decision...because I was able to people watch. My favorite past time.  Don't judge me.

This is the part where I wish I had a freaking camera.  Like one of those GOOD ones with those biggo lenses that could zoom in and take high quality photos. Because some of these people were internet GOLD!  I will try my best to describe the ones I remember.

  1. Three colored hair -- this girl was ridiculous.  Her top layer was BLEACH BLONDE, second layer was RED and the bottom layer was BLACK.  And she thought she was hot stuff.  I couldn't stop staring.  And she had kids.  I felt sorry for the kids.
  2. This is a group of people...people in pajamas!!! I mean the ones with snoopy on them and everything!  AND the slippers to match.  I saw lots of plaid pajama pants -- on women! I also saw this one lady in her silk pajamas! I'm not even lying.  They were pink and super shiny and NOT CUTE!
  3. Ok so this dude was "normal" looking but he had a bouquet of flowers in his hand.  You gotta love Walmart. If you screw up in the middle of the night, you know where to get flowers. Well as he was walking by I made a face like "poor girl". I wonder if he saw me because he came back! LOL!!!!  I was gone before he came back but I really hope he left the carnations in the car and bought roses.
I could have sat there for another 6 hours and not even cared.  It was THAT good.  I would totally do that again just cause. Who's with me??? :)

Oh, and Boogie bought the damn horn. I'll throw it away soon. :)