My Heart is Heavy

We are all reeling from the shootings that happened on Friday in Newtown, CT.  I read updated articles and I still can't fathom the happenings and what these families are going through. 

When I first heard of the shootings and read that it was at an elementary school, my first thought was "God, I hope no children were hurt".  And when I received the updated breaking news alert and read that there were indeed children hurt and killed, my heart sank.   I had never felt sick to my stomach the way I did that day.  I knew that no matter how bad I felt, there were parents that were having to deal with losing their CHILD.  I can't even imagine the pain and the anguish they felt.  My stomach continued to churn.

I went back to my desk and played the press conference from the President and my first tears fell.  The emotion that he showed as a parent and not the President of the United States made me sob.  His words touched me and I could not contain myself.  It was after his press conference that I decided to look into the faces of these angels that were taken too soon from this earth.  I had been avoiding it because seeing them would make it all too real.  And when I did, my heart broke even more.

How could someone do this to innocent children who at no fault of their own were at the wrong place at the wrong time.  But when did our elementary schools become the proverbial "wrong place"?  Elementary school is where I made a lot of my favorite childhood memories and I hold them close to my heart.  This monster came and in an instant made this elementary school a place of traumatic and scary memories.  How dare he!

I would call myself a person of faith and I always go back to it when things like this happen.  And I am usually the one looking for the "silver lining" to every situation regardless of how horrible it is.  But this time...I'm at a loss.  I have no idea why this happened. I have no idea why these sweet angels were taken a week before Christmas. I have no idea why these parents and families are having to go through this.  But I do know that they are on my prayer list and from hundred of miles away, that's all I can do. I will continue to pray for the souls of these children (and adults) that were taken away. May they rest in peace.

Situations like this really do put life into perspective for me.  Sofia is only 3 years younger than most of the children that died on Friday and I can't imagine only having her with me for 3 more years.  We must enjoy every day like it is our last.  We must tell our loved ones every day how much we love them because life is so short and we really do not know how much time we have on this earth.  I hope that all of you hug your kids a little tighter, are a little nicer to your sister or brother, will not get as angry when the kids make a mess...because I promise you that the parents of those children would give anything to have to clean up that mess.