Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The Bachelorette - Episode 7

Ok so no one cares about the actual episode so let me get to the Jake and Vienna "interview". It was more like a train wreck and I looooooooved it. This shit was GOOD!!!!!!!

Chris Harrison is the luckiest man. He got to see this in person. So Jake comes out first. Chris says he just had dinner with those two. I feel sorry for Chris. Anyway, supposedly this "break up" was a surprise to Gay Jake and says he woke up one day and his gay face was on 5 magazine covers. Poor us. So then ugly ass Vienna comes out. It's classic stuff...no audience to boo or clap....pure silence! So Chris asked Vienna Sausage what happened to this relationship made in FAKE heaven!!! So she says it changed a month after their relationship started. She said he didn't talk to her or kiss her like normal relationships. Uuuhhhh Boogie never kisses and sometimes ignores me and I love it! She's dumb. And she goes on to say that when he would kiss her, it would be a quick peck. HELLO he's gay!!!!!! I hope he comes out soon!!!!

So Chris asks her why she went to the tabloids and she says because she wanted to beat him to the punch. Uumm no whoever tells first gets more money...DUH!!!!! She's pretty smart. Oh and she calls him a "fame whore". C'mon Vienna Sausage, you went on a reality TV show to find a husband!!!!!!!! The pot calling the kettle black dontcha think??? Oh and then she says that he never talked to his parents. Well I'm on gay Jake's side on this one....do we remember her weird ass dad?!! I wouldn't talk to him either!!!!!

So allegations fly back and forth and its fantastic!!! Jake looks at her and says "I'm so disgusted by you" finally Jake has the same thoughts as I did the entire season!!! Too late though idiot. So they are deep in arguing and Chris has to break for commercial and Chris says "I want to continue this conversation" LOL. Of course you do...this is great stuff.

So back from commercial they start off with a clip of their season finale!! Hahahah where he proposes. These people are good.

So anyway, Chris tells her he "heard" she got 90k for her story. She says "no". Duh because it was probably more! Anyway so Chris asks her why she took it so far and told such intimate details and her idiotic response was "because it wasn't about the money". That has to be the funniest line EVER. You are such a liar Vienna Sausage...of course it was about the money!!!!!! Stupid VS.

So then Chris asks Jake what he loved about Vienna and Jake actually said "she was interesting" another hysterical line!!! She's a tool like you Jake duh!!!

She starts to cry about not having money or getting a job, blah blah. Then they talk about them dancing on DWTS and she said she liked it. Duh because her big nose was on TV again!!

So then the best question of the night is from Chris and he says "now that this is over, will you go away?" LOL!!!!! And she goes on to say that she found a job...in LA, a place she supposedly HATES!!!!! And Chris asks "why stay here if you hate it?" And she says "I do hate it". Vienna....work with me here. You sound more and more dumb...if that's possible.

And she says she doesn't want to go home because no one likes her there. News flash girlfriend, no one likes you anywhere. But yes, stay in LA where all the other crazies are. You will fit perfectly there.

Ok so they continue to fight about their issues. At one point they start arguing about her dog. Chris interrupts and says "ok we don't care about the dog" LOL!!!!!

So then Chris asks Vienna if after all this if she's sorry for anything. And she turns and looks at Jake and says "I'm sorry for going about things the way I did and if I didn't do it first, you would have done it anyway" and Jake says "you don't know me" and Vienna says something and Jake literally yells at her and says "STOP INTERRUPTING ME!!!!" You know how when your dad yells at you?? Like that!!! And she immediately starts crying and jumps up and says "I'm done!!!" Not before she looks at him and says "you're the meanest person ever!!!". Dude, he's gay, you and your big nose can take him!! KICK HIS ASS!!
So she walks off and is yelling "I want to go home!! And you can hear her sobbing behind closed doors.

So Vienna is crying her ugly eyes out in the back and Chris is sitting there with Jake. Chris asks if he feels bad, he says some gay things. Blah blah....

Chris thanks him for coming (and not to mention the ratings!!). And then its over!!!!!!!

Can they show them two every week?????? It was classic stuff. I love this show!!!!!


  1. I almost fell off my balance ball reading this because I was CRACKING UP!! LOVE IT! Hahahahahahahaha. Idiots!

  2. Thanks Blanc!! It was so much better you telling it then watching it! ok except when VS did her fake cry blast!!! I thought she was going to pee/poop making herself cry!